One Day
by PansycakeEater46
Summary: She's just a normal college student. He's the boy who has a passion for music. Eventually, their talents bring them closer together, and Tris soon learns what it feels like to love, and that one day can change her life forever. (Obviously don't own Divergent. Eventual Fourtris. Rated T for a reason. Imagine Dragons. Fall Out Boy.)
1. Chapter 1

We all are gonna leave here someday, so why fear it? Everyone will live their lives, and then everyone will pass away. I never thought is mattered how much you had, or how famous you were. I have come to peace, knowing that I won't be here forever. My brother, on the other hand, still has trouble accepting it. And I used to too, until I lost someone very close to me.

One year before

College is hard. Well, I would be saying that if I went to a traditional college, but I don't. This is my second year at Divergent School of the Arts, and I major in Visual Art. I've always had a talent for drawing. Every paper I had was bound to have something drawn on it.

So now, as I sit in the park, drawing a picture of what's in front of me—the cherry blossoms in full bloom—and listening to Summer by Imagine Dragons, I think about my life so far. I just turned 20 a month ago, and moved myself into a small apartment just outside of Chicago. I've met some amazing people, and I've had a good life. Loving parents, a brother, awesome friends, what more could I ask for?

But I do have one fear that I just can't shake. Death. I know I shouldn't fear it because it is inevitable and could happen at any moment. I just try not to think about it too much. I actually shouldn't even call it a fear, just something you can't avoid.

I get a text from my best friend, Christina.

Christina: where r u at?

Me: At the park, you know that.

Christina: I need u tho

I sigh and call her. "Where are you at?" I ask.

"At school," she says. "We're all here. Stop daydreaming and get over here now! You're missing an awesome jam session!"

Ever since we were little, Christina was always into music. She always wanted to grow up to be a singer. Sometimes, we'll all sneak into one of the unused music rooms on campus and have a jam session. A smile creeps onto my face. "Okay, give me fifteen minutes. I'll be there!"

I've always loved listening to music. Music inspires me to draw. And even though I don't play any instruments, and even though I can't sing, I still love music. I stand up, close my sketchbook, and walk to my car.

…

I can hear them before I even get to the third floor, they're just that loud. I make my way to the third floor, then to the unused music room. I open the door to see Uriah throwing marshmallows at his older brother, Zeke—I can't really explain those two, they're just…special—and Christina waves me over when I walk in. Everyone's here—Uriah, Zeke, Marlene, Shauna, and Christina. And another boy who I've never seen before, holding an electric guitar.

"Hey, I wanted you to meet someone," Christina says to me. "This is Zeke's numerically named friend, Four." He smiles at me.

"Forget how to talk buddy?" Zeke teases him. Four rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at him. "Ow! Dude, how do you make a pillow hurt? A _pillow!_ " Four just shrugs in response. I sit on the couch next to him.

We always hang out here. It's just a room that's full of furniture no one ever uses. It never was a music room. We just call it that. Uriah walks over to us and sits on one of the arms of the couch. "You brought your sketchbook, Tris?" He asks. "Oh lemme see lemme see!"

I hit Uriah in the head with it. "No." He rubs his head and pouts. "So what where you guys playing before I got here?" I ask.

"We were singing about various Mexican foods," Shauna chuckles. "And then Uriah pulled some marshmallows out of his backpack."

Marlene smiles. "And things got a little out of hand."

Four finally speaks up. "A little? Uriah almost dumped the whole bag on his brother." He has a nice voice.

Zeke rolls his eyes. "Yeah and you guys thought it was funny to take pictures."

"Still not as funny as the time I gave you a makeover back in eighth grade," Christina smirks. Christina, Marlene, Uriah, and I were in eighth grade at the time, as Zeke and Shauna are both two years older than us. Zeke had lost a bet with Christina and she got to give him a makeover on picture day.

"I've burned most of those pics anyway," Zeke mumbles.

"Most," Uriah says. "Besides, that's still engraved in our memories anyway!"

"You know," Zeke begins, "I never wanted a little brother." He puts his guitar down and grabs the pillow Four threw at him.

"Well, I uh, never asked for a big brother!" Uriah pouts.

"What are you talking about, I was born first!"

"And I was born second!"

Zeke hits Uriah in the head with the pillow.

"Hey, don't hit him in the head," Shauna says. "He's already got enough problems as it is." She smirks.

Uriah shouts. "SHAUNA!"

"They're always like this," I say to Four, who had put his guitar down.

"Yeah, it's entertaining," he smiles. He has a nice smile.

My phone begins to ring. My brother, Caleb, is calling me. "Guys, I gotta take this, I'll be back."

…

I sit on the hood of my car. "Hello?" I say when I answer the phone.

"Hey Bea," Caleb says. "Um, where are you at?"

"At school," I say. "Why?"

"I need you. I'm at mom and dad's,"

"What happened?"

"Oh nothing bad, just get here," he hangs up.

"Okay," I mumble to myself.

"You alright?" Four. When did he get here?

"Dude you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," he sits next to me. We just sit next to each other in silence for a bit, probably because we don't know what to say to each other.

"I've never seen you around here before. What school do you go to?" I ask him and look into those eyes. I've never seen a shade of blue like that before.

"Oh, I'm not in college. I dropped out of some school out of state after the first semester. Wasn't really my thing. College isn't for everybody," he shrugs.

We sit in more silence, until eventually, I pull out my phone and stuff one of the earbuds into my ear and the other one into his.

"What bands do you like?" he asks.

"Well, my favorite is Imagine Dragons, but Fall Out Boy is a close second."

He smiles. "My favorite is also Imagine Dragons, but my close second is Panic! at the Disco." That smile.

I begin to play Summer. "Is this one your favorite?" he asks. I nod. "I actually can't decide which one is my favorite."

"I see you're a bit indecisive," I smile at him.

"Well, I've always been that way."

I hum the first line of the song quietly.

 _If only for a second_

 _Let me have you_

 _Tell me all your secrets_

 _Let me know you_

He's staring at me. Then, he looks away quickly and stares down at the ground.

 _Paint me all your pictures_

 _Hang them on my wall_

 _Show me all your colors_

 _Show me all_

I don't know why, but I feel comfortable being with him. I shouldn't feel this way, I barely even know him.

We finish the song. "I gotta go," I say, wrapping my earbuds around my phone.

"Well, I'll see you around, I guess," he turns around and walks towards the school. I get in my car. Time to go see what Caleb wants.

 **First chapter! Leave a review of what you thought!**


	2. Chapter 2

One year before

As I drive to my parent's house, I feel something in my pocket. At a red light, I reach in and pull out a folded piece of paper. I unfold it and read it.

 _Hey, I know you're probably not even thinking about me, but here's my number anyway. 678-9102. Four._

He gave me his number. It _was_ nice talking to him, and I _would_ like to see him again. I decide to call him later, as soon as I get back to my apartment.

The drive from the school to my parent's is a long one. The drive from my apartment to theirs is even longer. Even though I grew up in Chicago, I never had any desire to live here. I've already decided to move away to some other state once I graduate from college.

Mom and Dad live in a small apartment overlooking Lake Michigan; they bought it not even a month after Caleb and I moved out. Finding parking downtown is an especially tedious task. After riding around for about ten minutes, I give up my search and just park in a parking garage about a block away from their building. I need to walk anyway.

…

I knock on their door three times. "Hey. It's Tris. Open up please." Caleb answers the door.

"Hey Bea, what took you so long to get here?" He asks.

"Caleb. You know how far away the school is plus Downtown Chicago traffic. That was a stupid question."

He chuckles. "Yeah I know, I'm an idiot." My brother pulls me into a hug. We haven't seen each other in about two weeks since we've both been busy with college stuff. Sure we talk on the phone every day, but it's different seeing him in person. It's funny how someone's appearance can change in a few weeks. He now wears glasses and I got my blond hair cut to my jaw about a week ago.

"So," I begin when we pull away. "What'd you call me here for?"

"Mom and Dad wanted to spend time with their kids and they knew if they called you, you wouldn't have come," he says.

"They were quick to throw us out of the house, ignore us for about a year, and now they wanna spend time?" I roll my eyes. "Forgive me if I seem to be acting like a brat but they could've planned this some other way."

"Bea, they love you and they just wanted to see you. You know they're not gonna be here forever."

I stare up at my brother. Yes, I know they're not gonna be here forever. Yes, I know nothing is gonna be here forever. I am not at peace with that. I am not at peace knowing that everything you've worked hard for is just gonna disappear, everything you know will be gone, and you will be gone. You will hurt the ones you love with your passing, and unless you've done something that people will remember you by, the memory of you will also fade away eventually.

"Okay," I say. "I understand. Hey, where are Mom and Dad anyway?"

"I wanted to surprise them with your presence. Dad is picking up Mom from work," Caleb says.

Caleb and I were always privileged kids. Dad had a job in the government and Mom worked as a graphic designer for some company. We have too much to be thankful for. Too much to lose.

"So what were you even doing at school?" Caleb asks. "You don't even have any classes today."

"Just…no reason."

…

About an hour later, Mom and Dad come home. "What took you guys so long?" I ask.

Mom smiles and wraps me in her arms. "Beatrice, my how have you changed! I didn't know you got your hair cut."

I pull away. "Yeah, it was getting long and annoying. Now why is yours shorter?"

"Beatrice, how have you been?" Dad asks.

"You didn't answer my question," I say, ignoring Dad's question.

"Yeah Mom, you never said anything about a haircut," Caleb says.

Mom sighs, and I notice tears in her eyes. "The real reason I wanted to see you guys is because…because when I went to the doctor about two weeks ago…"

I place a hand on her shoulder. "Mom what is it?" The tears in her eyes spill over onto her cheeks.

Dad speaks up, his voice shaking. "Your mother…has cancer."

Everything goes silent. I can't feel anything. This isn't real. This can't be real. This is just a dream, everything that has happened today is just a dream. I can wake up. I will wake up.

No. This is real. Dad wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

No Dad, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who hasn't been here. But that will change right now. Four can wait, I need to be with my family right now.

 **Wow. Seriously, wow. 15 follows. 15 FOLLOWS ON THE FIRST CHAPTER! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! THANK YOU!**


	3. Chapter 3

363 days before

It has been two days. Two days since I found out about my mother's cancer. That's all I've been thinking about for the past two days. I've only talked to my family and Christina for the past two days. I haven't even touched my sketchbook the past two days. I know I need to cheer up, but it's hard to when you know you could lose your mother at any given moment.

"Wait wait wait," Christina says. We are currently sitting in my apartment, watching Mean Girls for the millionth time. "You still haven't called Four yet? Oh I see you're playing hard to get," she smirks. "Christina approves."

"Christina," I groan. "You know I've been too busy to call him. Besides, I don't even like him like that. I can't like him like that, I don't even know him."

"Let's change that. Call him right now!" She pauses the movie.

"Christina," I say before she cuts me off.

"Call him!" I roll my eyes and pull out my phone. "Put it on speaker, I wanna hear, too."

It rings once, twice, three times. He picks up. "Hello?"

"Um, hi?" is all I manage to get out. "This is Tris…"

"Oh hey! Um, hi. I wasn't expecting you to call," he says. "I thought you forgot about me, honestly."

"Sorry," I say. "I've been busy these past two days, family stuff."

"I understand." I hear voices in the background. Who is he with? "Hey, um, Zeke, Shauna, and I are going out for pizza. Wanna come with?"

Before I can say anything, Christina interrupts. "We'd love to! What time?"

"Christina," he says. I wonder how long they've known each other.

Zeke shouts from the background. "Around 2 or so!"

"Got it," Christina says. "See you guys then!" She hangs up and turns to me. "Okay, we've got an hour and thirty minutes to get you ready."

"Christina, it's just pizza," I whine. "I'm already dressed anyway."

"But it's Four you're gonna see!"

I roll my eyes at her. "Whatever. You can do my makeup and my hair. That's it."

"But your hair is no fun anymore!" She's the one whining now. "Since you cut it," she pouts. "Oh well, I can figure out something."

…

About thirty minutes later, after Christina managed to curl my hair, and also managed to get me to put a little make up on—which is a miracle considering I absolutely hate wearing makeup. I've always been modest—we head for the city to meet up with the others.

"I shoulda made you change your shoes," Christina says just as we walk out of my apartment building.

"Why?" I ask. "They match with what I'm wearing." I currently have on a black Imagine Dragons t-shirt from Hot Topic, black skinny jeans, and my black and white high top Converse that I've had since the 9th grade.

"You look fine, no. You look beautiful," she says. "But you could've put on your new pair."

I shrug. "I just like these more." We walk to my car, and I get into the driver's seat. "I am in control of the music," I say.

"Let me guess, Imagine Dragons?"

"No, I like other bands too!"

"Fall Out Boy."

"No."

"Panic! at the Disco."

"Maybe."

"Bastille."

"Possibly."

"I know you all too well. I've got you memorized, my friend."

"Yes, yes you do."

Instead of putting on any of the bands Christina mentioned, I decide to put on If I Lose Myself by OneRepublic, since it's a band we both like. For Christina's 15th birthday, her father took us to one of their concerts. I smile at the memory.

I purposely moved outside of the city because I wasn't a huge fan of city life, especially a big city like Chicago. I love where I live, but I can't stand the drive from my apartment to downtown. Short explanation: long drive and even longer with traffic.

Eventually, though, we make it into the city, and to the pizza place where we were supposed to meet Zeke, Shauna, and Four.

…

"Hey Trissy!" Zeke shouts as we get out of the car. "Trissy! Chrissy!" I'm going to kill that boy.

"I told you not to call me that!" I growl at him.

"You're becoming more like Uriah, Zeke," Shauna says.

"Am not!" Zeke says defensively.

"I dunno, dude," Four says. "You have been calling people 'pansycakes' recently."

"I think you secretly want to be like your brother," Shauna smirks.

"Whatever," Zeke rolls his eyes at Four and Shauna, who are currently doing some kind of secret handshake. "Let's go get pizza."

"Yep, just eat away your sorrows," Christina laughs, and Zeke pouts, but then his scowl quickly turns into a smile.

…

After finishing the pizza, paying and leaving a tip, Zeke suddenly had to take a phone call, Shauna apparently had to go, and Christina claimed that something came up, leaving Four and I together sitting on the hood of my car.

"I am feeling a sense of Déjà vu," he says. "Weren't we doing this two days ago?" He smirks.

"I have a feeling that they left us alone on purpose, and are probably hiding behind the building recording this conversation," I smile at Four. Four. I wonder how he got that nickname.

"Yeah," he says.

"I think we should just leave them here," I say.

"Where should we go?"

"I dunno, just somewhere. See if they follow us."

He smiles and hops off the hood. We jump into my car—I'm still the driver—and leave the others to look for us. Besides, I want to learn more about him.


	4. Chapter 4

363 days before

I drive to the park I was two days ago before I met him. It's not much, but it's beautiful. The cherry blossoms around a small pond and a few benches. And flowers everywhere. I think it's supposed to be a memorial of sorts, but I come here to think. I've never brought any of my friends here with me.

We sit under one of the trees, and Four puts his hand on top of mine. It isn't soft—I don't expect it to be since he's a guitarist. I look up at him, but he isn't looking at me. He's looking at the flowers.

"They've probably sent a search party to look for us," I say with a chuckle.

"Nah, I think they wanted this to happen," he shrugs. "So," he finally looks at me. "I want to know more about you."

"Yes," I say. "I would like to get more acquainted with you too. All we know about each other is that we both like Imagine Dragons."

He smiles. I missed that smile. "I will ask you one of the most cliché questions ever. What is your favorite color?"

I smile at him and rest my head on his shoulder. "Hmmm, do I have to pick one?"

"Nah."

"Pretty much anything paired with black. Blue and black, red and black, pink and black, black and black," I look up at him. "Same question."

"Blue and black," he says.

"Blue like your eyes?" His eyes are the darkest shade of blue I've ever seen. Nowhere near the shade of my eyes, which are a pale blue.

"Nah, any shade of blue will do."

"I love how you never say 'no'. Just 'nah'."

"Bad habit. What are your bad habits?"

"Mine is a common one, I'm a nail biter."

"Ah, at least it's not drugs or smoking or anything like that."

"Right," I like being with him. I want to be alone with him more.

"What are your fears?" he asks all of a sudden.

I stare up at him. "Uh, I dunno." That's a lie. "I mean, I'm not fearless but I guess I'll know them when I'm in a situation to be afraid."

"I've been in many situations to be afraid."

"What? Why?"

"Let's just say I didn't have the best childhood."

For a moment, we just sit under the tree, not talking, with my head still on his shoulder. Four stands up and walks to the flowers and begins to pick some of them. Then, he comes back and sits next to me like nothing happened.

"Your family," he says.

"What about it?"

"What's it like? I mean, is it big, small, and are your parents still together? How are they? Kind of a personal question, I know."

"Well," I begin. "I have one brother. My parents are still together. And they're…okay I guess." I stare out at the pond, and I feel Four's fingers move through my hair.

"You guess?" he asks.

"Well, the real reason I didn't call you sooner was because we found out that my mom has cancer," he's the first person besides Christina who I've told.

"Ah, I see. I hope she gets better."

I nod. "What about your family, Four," I say still staring out at the pond. What is he doing with my hair?

"Dead mother, crazy father. If I've got other family then I've never met them." He shrugs, like a dysfunctional family isn't even a big deal. He stops messing with my hair, and I notice the flowers no longer in his possession.

My hands immediately go to my hair, and I feel a braid with the flowers interwoven in it. "Hey, careful," Four says. "Don't mess it up," he smiles.

"Did you seriously braid my hair? How did you learn how to braid?" I ask, raising my eyebrows at him.

"I've known Shauna pretty much my whole life, I would learn eventually," he says.

I smile. "I love it, thank you."

…

Eventually, we decide to leave, because Christina was blowing up my phone and Zeke was blowing up Four's, the sun had begun to go down—I didn't realize we were there so long, I guess time does fly when you're having fun—and I wanted to go see my mother before the day was over.

Four had offered to drive for me, and I let him. So here we are now, him driving, me sitting with my head rested against the door, my eyes closed, and Twenty One Pilots playing in the car.

He must think I'm asleep, because he turns the music volume down a little bit, and drives a little slower. I notice him singing along to the song quietly. " _You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time/But that's okay, I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine/I'm driving here I sit, cursing my government/for not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement."_

A smile creeps onto my face. I can't help but smile at that. Singing along to Tear In My Heart, thinking that I'm really asleep, thinking I can't hear him. "I like your singing voice," I say, my eyes still closed.

"Oh…thanks," I don't think he wanted me to hear his singing voice. "So…um, where am I driving to?" he asks, clearly trying to change the subject.

"I dunno," I say, opening my eyes. "Is there anywhere you need to go? Is your car still at the pizza place?"

"Nah, Shauna and I forced Zeke to drive," he smirks.

"I was gonna go check on my mom," I say, glancing at him. "Do you wanna drive to your apart-"

"I'll come with you," he says. I look at him. "What? Am I being awkward?"

"No, you're being adorable," I immediately regret my choice of words and feel my face get hot. He smiles at me.

"If anyone's being adorable, it's you, Tris," still smiling.

"You do admit that we are totally flirting right now?"

"Yep. Are you okay with that?"

"Yep, I can't control you being adorable, and you can't help it, and I must acknowledge it."

"You're being adorable by telling me that I'm adorable. You're speaking adorably."

I blush. "Okay, adorable-boy-who-is-obviously-flirting-with-me-adorably, pay attention to driving and I'll give you directions to my parent's apartment."

"You're the boss."

…

He follows close behind as we walk down the hall to my parent's apartment. "This is nice," he says. "Do you think your parents will be weirded out that you've just brought some random boy guy home?"

"Not at all," I say. "Besides, I'm pretty sure they'll accept you." My parents have always been accepting, forgiving, and selfless people. Caleb and I had a lot as kids, but we also gave a lot to the community. They were always volunteering, feeding orphans, donating to charities and what not. Looking back on my childhood, I liked that lifestyle. Giving more than you take.

I knock on the door. "Hello? Your only and beloved daughter here wants to visit her parents."

No answer.

I knock again. "Hello? Guys?"

"Maybe they're not home?" Four suggests.

"I'll call them," I pull out my phone and go straight to the contacts. I decide to call my Dad. It rings once, twice, he picks up.

"Beatrice?" He sounds in distress. Where are they?

"Dad where are you at?"

"I had…I had to take your mother to the hospital," I almost drop my phone. "Beatrice…are you still there?"

"We'll be there in ten minutes."

"We'll? Is Caleb with you?" I hang up before I can answer my father's question.

"What's wrong? Are they okay?" Four asks, genuinely concerned.

"We have to go to the hospital, I…I don't know what's going on, we just have to leave now."

 **The support I'm getting on this fic is unbelievable. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Reviews are cherished, as always!**


	5. Chapter 5

363 days before

We go straight to my car—Four driving—and head for the hospital. Round And Round by Imagine Dragons plays in the background. I put my head in my hands and try to wake up from this horrible dream.

 _We are all living the same way, the same way_

 _We are escaping the same way, the same way_

 _Circling_

I feel Four's hand on my shoulder.

 _We are a part of the same play, the same play_

 _We think we're making our own way, our own way_

 _Circling_

I've always been able to relate to Imagine Dragons' songs _,_ that's what makes them my favorite band. But right now, I just need to sit in the silence, and take everything in. I turn the volume down a little bit, so it's just a soft hum.

Eventually, we get to the hospital, and my father texts me directions to her room. I wonder if anyone has called Caleb. Four and I head to her floor. Once we get to her room, I don't see my mother. I don't see her smile, I don't see her bright green eyes.

 _Open your eyes, Mom. Please open your eyes._

Dad sits in one of the chairs next to her bed, not even questioning who Four is and why is he here. I sit at the foot of the bed. "Is she conscious?" I ask.

Dad shakes his head no. He glances up at Four, who is standing awkwardly in the doorway. "You can come in, son. Nothin' to be afraid of." Dad averts his gaze back to Mom. Four walks in hesitantly and sits next to me on the bed.

"She was up, making dinner one minute. I look away, and she passes out," Dad says weakly. "It's getting worse, the cancer, it's definitely getting worse. It's in her blood…"

"Dad, don't sound so defeated. She's gonna wake up, and fight this," I say. "She has to."

Someone knocks on the door. "Mom?" It's Caleb. "Hey, who the heck are you?" He asks, his stare drifting from Mom to Four.

"He's a friend, Caleb," I growl at my brother. "Leave him alone. You can interrogate him when we don't have a Mom in the hospital."

Caleb sighs and takes the seat next to Dad. No one says anything, but we don't need to. Right now, we just need to be with mom.

…

It's late. Almost 11:30 at night. Dad tells us that he'll stay with Mom, so the three of us—Four, Caleb, and I—walk in silence to the elevators. In the parking lot, I give Caleb a silent hug and tell him goodnight. Four and I walk to my car, and I sit on the hood.

"I just need a moment," I tell him, giving him a weak smile. He doesn't bother to return it. He cares about my Mom and he hasn't even met her properly yet. I put my face in my hands again, and I don't cry, I just sit there, with Four's hand back on my shoulder.

We eventually get back into the car, Round And Round still playing softly in the background.

 _Round and round_

 _I won't run away this time_

 _Til you show me what this life is for_

 _Round and round_

 _I'm not gonna let you change my mind_

 _Til you show me what this life is for_

"Hey," Four says quietly, not looking at me. "She's gonna wake up, okay?"

I don't know what comes over me, he's just being nice. "Shut up," I tell him, looking out the window.

"There's no need to-" I cut him off.

"I know you're just trying to be nice, Four, and it's not working," I say, harsher than I mean to be, but then again, I _did_ just tell him to shut up. He gets quiet, and stays quiet.

We get to his apartment building, and when he gets out, he barely glances at me. "See you around, I guess," he says so quiet that I can barely hear him.

As I drive home, I regret everything I said to him. He was just trying to be nice, and me, the girl so afraid of losing her mother, the girl who liked being around him, the girl who—even though she barely knew him—knew that his whole life has probably been worse than the girl's past two days.

"I am a horrible person," I repeat to myself quietly as I drive myself home.

358 days before

We haven't spoken to each other in five days. Five days without calling each other, five days without texting. He probably hates me. And to make things worse, Mom still hasn't woken up yet. I miss her, I really miss her.

I haven't even told Christina about Four and I's fallout (if you can really call it that. It was more so me snapping at him from stress). But I already know what she would say. Something along the lines of "APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY" or "YOU DIDN'T REALLY SAY THAT, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT!"

I know I need to talk to him though, but not until I go see how Dad is holding up. He's been staying at the hospital, waiting for Mom to wake up. The doctors say she will, they say she'll wake up with minimum damage, but I don't know what even to believe anymore.

I knock on the hospital room door softly. "Hey Dad," I say, walking in and taking my usual place on the bed.

"Hey honey," Dad says, and his voice sounds hoarse. He kisses me on my forehead.

"How have you been?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

"Fine honey," he runs a hand through his unkempt hair. "Just waiting for your mother, like I have been."

"Yeah, it's been kinda stressf-" I am interrupted by my mother taking in a deep breath, and her eyelids flying open, revealing her green eyes. I stand up off of the bed.

"An-Andrew," she says, looking at my father.

"Natalie," he replies, and gives her a hug. "H-how do you feel?"

"A little dizzy," she smiles. "Beatrice, h-how have you been, honey? Where's Caleb?"

"I'll call him and tell him you've woken up," I say, looking down at the floor, and not answering her question about how I've been, because I haven't been doing fine. I haven't been in a good mood. I miss Four, and he hates me now.

I tell my parents I'm going outside to call Caleb, but I really go outside to avoid thinking about Four, to avoid my regret, to avoid bursting into tears.

I sit on the hood of my car and my phone begins to ring. It's Zeke.

"Okay, I don't know what happened or what you said, but you need to talk to Four like right now," he says as soon as I answer the phone.

"Zeke, I need to call my brother, I'll text Four later," I lie. I'm afraid he will just ignore me if I try to text or call him, so I just won't do it.

Zeke sighs. "Whatever, but you need to see him, like in person. He seems really depressed and doesn't want to talk about whatever happened. Hey…you don't sound too cheery either. What exactly happened between you two?"

The tears are in my eyes. "I-I…some family stuff came up and I was stressed and I snapped at him. I didn't mean what I said, I really didn't! And I regret it so freakin' much," the tears are on my cheeks.

"Okay," Zeke's voice now sounds calmer, softer, like he's right next to me, comforting me, "tell that to Four, he'll understand."

"I just want us to be friends," I say, my voice shaking.

"Okay, instead of calling your brother, call Four," Zeke hangs up. I've known Zeke and Shauna since I was in 5th grade, because Christina and I thought we were cool if we were friends with middle schoolers. So Uriah brought us to his house one day to hear Zeke play the guitar, and we all started hanging out with each other. Then, in 6th grade, we met Marlene and we've been friends since. I'm so thankful for them. But I still need to let my brother know that Mom is awake.

…

"So Mom, what was it like being in a coma?" Caleb asks after at least ten minutes of hugging, crying and sitting in silence. He sits on the bed next to me.

"What kind of question is that, Caleb?" I say, raising my eyebrows at him. Hs rolls his eyes at me.

Mom answers his question anyway. "Well, it felt like I was in a dream. A dream I couldn't wake up from. This may sound weird but…it felt very calming, and I think…I think that's what death is like."

If that's what death is like, then why do I fear such a peaceful experience?

"You're not dying anytime soon," Dad says, his voice stern. "We're going to get through this, Natalie. Together, as a family."

"Andrew. You have to accept the truth," she says calmly. "You heard what the doctor said." She touches Dad's arm gently.

"Wait, what did the doctor say?" I ask.

"To hell with what the doctor said," Dad says, his voice rising.

"Dad, calm down," Caleb sighs.

"What did the doctor say?" I question again.

Mom sighs. "Doc gave me only about a year to live." She shrugs. "I'm not afraid and you shouldn't be either. Think of it this way: I will be going on a grand adventure that you guys will join me on soon enough." This seems to calm Dad and Caleb down. Not me. Not me.

She smiles. "You guys have nothing to worry about. I'm not scared, so you guys don't be scared, hear me, Bea?" I nod, to hide my real feelings. My real feelings of fear, of sadness.


	6. Chapter 6

357 days before

We stayed all night with mom last night. I had to leave early this morning—around 5am or so—to get back to my apartment, take a shower, and get to my classes on time. As I drive to school, I stop at a bakery called Bake'm Shake'm, run by Shauna's sister, Lynn. I was never really friends with Lynn, as she was never really that nice to me.

When I walk in, I see Shauna, Zeke, and…Four sitting at the counter, smiling, laughing. Four catches my gaze, and walks towards me. Shauna and Zeke just glance at him. Knowing them, they wanted this to happen.

He smiles slightly at me. He's not the same smiling, flirtatious boy I met almost a week ago. I stand on my toes and whisper into his ear. "We need to talk." He nods, and follows me out of the bakery.

…

"The hood of your car will have our butt prints on it," he says with a light chuckle, not enough to make me believe he's happy. The cool spring breeze blows through my hair, and I see flower petals in the wind. They make me think of him.

"We need to talk," I say. "You know I didn't mean what I said, you were just trying to be nice and I-"

He puts a finger to my lips, and a small part of me wishes he would've put his lips to mine. No, don't think about him like that, you barely know him, how can you love someone who you've known for six days?

"Tris, I," he stops himself from what he's about to say and looks around, avoiding my eyes. "I just don't want you to be unhappy. And what you said _did_ hurt me, but I knew you didn't mean it." He smiles. "You just wanted your mother to be okay." He finally looks into my eyes. Do I see tears in his? "I was very young when my mother died."

"I'm sorry," I say, burying my face into his chest, wrapping my arms around him, breathing the scent of him in. We stay like this for a while, until I realize that I'll be late for school.

"Crap," I mumble as I pull away. "I…I gotta go." I jump off of the hood.

"Wait," he says as he jumps down too. "I will buy you a muffin!" He turns around and jogs back towards the bakery. Not even a minute later, he runs back out, holding a brown paper bag which contains the muffin.

"I didn't know what flavor you liked so I got you blueberry," he smiles.

"Thanks. Actually, blueberry is my favorite."

"Then that makes two of us." He looks around and then hugs me. "Call me when you get out of school," he mumbles into my ear. I smile and pull back. We just stare into each other's eyes for a moment, and then he connects his lips with my forehead. I feel my face get hot. "I'll see you later," he turns around and walks back toward the bakery.

…

I had a smile on my face the whole time driving to school, despite the Chicago traffic, but all I can think about is him kissing me. Well, kissing my forehead anyway. Does he like me that way? Or was he just trying to make me happy?

"Hey Tris!" Shauna says from behind me, and I turn around.

"Hey, what's up? How'd you get here so fast?" She must have classes today too. She majors in Computer Engineering. I remember an eighth grade Shauna saying that she's going to someday design a game. I smile at the memory.

"Beauty of the trains, bro," she smirks. "So, Zeke and I saw you and Four out in the parking lot. I push the up button on the elevator.

"So what," I shrug.

Her smirk turns into a smile. "He kissed you," she says in a singsong tone. The elevator doors creak open and we both step in.

"It was just on the forehead," I look down at my shoes after pressing the button for the 3rd floor. "We're just friends, Shauna."

"Yeah, not every friendship has to become a romance," she shrugs.

"Besides, I'm still waiting for Zeke to kiss you or hold your hand or something," I'm the one smirking now. Shauna puts her face in her hands and blushes.

"Oh whatever, Tris!" she says through a laugh.

The elevator rings and the doors creak open. We step out, and go our separate ways.

…

The phone rings once, twice, three times, he picks up. "Hi Tris," I can hear him smiling. "So, you're out of school for the day?"

"Yeah, wanna do something?" I ask him.

"Sure. Hey, do you know where Amar's Guitars is?"

"Yeah why?"

"That's where I work, meet me there." He hangs up.

I have passed by the music store plenty of times, but just never bothered to go inside. It's actually not too far from my park.

So I drive there, and when I get there, I see Four sitting on the curb of the sidewalk. He stands up when I walk towards him, and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "So, how were your classes?" he asks.

"Nothing interesting. I drew, listened to professors go on and on and on about the same stuff," I shrug.

"Hey, how's your mom by the way?" he asks, scratching the back of his head. "I mean, did she wake up?"

"Yeah, woke up yesterday," I look down at my shoes.

"I would like to meet her properly," he says. "Maybe, if she wants."

"My dad seemed to like you, I'm sure my mom will. They're very accepting." I sit next to him on the curb, and we just sit there for a while. Not talking, just sitting, staring off into space. I feel him wrap his arm around my shoulder, I scoot closer towards him, and rest my head on him.

"Aww," a man emerges from the store with a ponytail down his back. "What I've taught you about girls finally paid off, Four." He flashes a smile at me.

"Oh whatever, Amar. I thought you didn't even like girls," Four rolls his eyes at the man.

"Sometimes I do…when they don't pepper spray my eyes or kick me where the sun don't shine," he extends his hand out for me to shake. "The name's Amar, I sell guitars. And other musical instruments." We shake hands.

"I'm Tris."

"Yep," he sits next to Four on the curb, then lays on the sidewalk, looking up at the sky. "I'm the one who taught Toby here how to play after his mom passed. Nice woman, even I was sad to see her go."

Four glares at Amar. "I thought I asked you not to call me that."

Amar sits up and shrugs. "It just slipped out, okay? I've called you that since I've known you, it was weird when you made me start calling you 'Four'."

I chuckle at the two, at how pissed Four looks right now. Four takes my hand and we stand up. "Ready to go, Tris?" I nod.

"Alright, bye. Have fun, but don't get too crazy," he winks at us and walks back into the store.

As soon as we get to my car, I begin to laugh. I laugh so hard that my stomach begins to hurt, and Four just looks at me. "Okay, I'm sorry," I say through laughter. "I just…I can't control it!"

"Tris," he frowns.

"Okay okay, I'll stop." I smile. "Shall we be on our way?"

His smile comes back. "We shall."

…

"So, Toby?" We listen to the album Vessel by Twenty One Pilots, with Car Radio playing softly.

"He's not allowed to call be that," he mumbles. "It was my mother's nickname for me."

"I see."

"I've noticed that no one calls you by your real name, Tris."

"Nope, not even the people who named me," I shrug.

He smiles. "You're in a much better mood."

I feel my face get hot. "Well…"

"I lov—like seeing you happy," he averts my gaze.

Then, there's an awkward silence between us. He almost said that he loves seeing me happy. Why did he change his mind mid-sentence?

"Tobias," he says so quietly that I can barely hear him, like this is a piece of him that he's only giving to me, and I have to keep a secret. "That's my real name…by the way. You can call me that…when it's just us, okay?"

I smile and nod. "Why does everyone call you Four anyway?"

"Well," he begins…

 **Yep. I just did that. I appreciate all the follows, all the favs, all the reviews I'm getting on this fic! I can't express how much I appreciate everyone who takes time to read and review this! Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

357 days before

"Well," he begins, "it's a long story. Zeke was the one who started calling me that…gosh, I don't even remember. It's a nickname I can't explain, but I would rather everyone call me that."

"Why don't you like your real name," I ask him.

"It reminds me of my _wonderful_ childhood," he sighs. He looks uncomfortable.

"I will not question you any further," I say, and I see a smirk creep onto his face. "What are you thinking about, To—Four?"

"Nothing," he mumbles, still smirking.

"I am having trouble believing you."

"I was thinking about you…"

"There you go again, being adorable!"

"Are you flirting with me, Tris?" still smirking.

I am no longer in control of my body. My brain screams _what are you doing!? Don't kiss him!_ But before my brain had a chance to take control, my lips were on his cheek. _Idiot idiot idiot._ We stare into each others eyes. "Um…you should focus on the road," I say quietly, almost inaudible.

"Yeah," he reluctantly looks away.

…

I don't realize we're holding hands until we run into Caleb at the hospital. "Are you guys a thing now or what?" he asks. Then he turns to Tobias and says, "you better be good to her. You don't deserve her, hear me!?"

"Caleb, shut it up. We are not dating, okay? Calm down, before you have a heart attack," I tell Caleb.

"I'm 21 years old, the chance of me having a heart atta-"

"Shhhhhh, brother. Your mouth must be tired from running it all the time. No one cares." He rolls his eyes at me. Caleb and I have never been that close, considering the fact that we're Irish twins. I guess it's because our personalities are so different but…

The three of us walk to Mom's room together and as soon as we walk in, Caleb says, "This is Bea's boyfriend and he would like you get your blessing, Father."

I punch Caleb in the arm, hard. "For once in your life you have a sense of humor and it still sucks," I growl at him.

"Do I know you?" Mom asks Tobias. She stares at him for a moment and then smiles."You're Evelyn's boy. You grew up to be very handsome." Tobias just looks down at his shoes.

"Yeah," he mumbles.

"Wait, Mom you know him?" I ask. How would she already know him? That's why he's here, to introduce himself, but I guess that's not necessary now. "How?"

"She was friends with my mom, Tris," Tobias says. "I remember seeing her like two or three times growing up."

"You saw me more than that, you just don't remember,"Mom smirks. "Well, nice to meet you again," she extends her hand and he shakes it.

"Do you remember my name?" he asks her.

"Hmmm," Mom thinks for a bit. "Begins with a t…I remember your mother calling you Toby."

"That was just a nickname," he frowns. "I don't really like for anyone to call me that. Not now, anyway."

There is a silence between the two. And then Tobias breaks it by saying, "It was nice to meet you…again I guess. Tris, I'll wait for you outside. Take your time." And then he leaves.

I look at Mom, silently asking her for advice. "Go, Tris. It looks like it's about to storm really bad outside, anyway. You two don't really want to be trapped in a hospital during a storm like your brother, right?"

Caleb frowns and blushes. "I'm just spending time with you!"

"No, your nerd buddies don't want to be around you," I chuckle.

"Tris, leave your brother alone," Dad defends Caleb. I kiss both of my parents goodbye and go outside to the parking lot. I find Tobias, of course, sitting on the hood of my car. He was right, my hood will have our butt prints on it. I sit next to him.

"You alright?" I ask. He shakes his head no. "What's wrong?"

"It's just…I don't wanna talk about it." He looks up at the sky. "We should probably go."

"Good idea."

We get into my car and we hear a roll of thunder, quickly followed by rain. "I don't want you to drive in this all the way to my apartment," I say, extending my arm out of the window to get it soaked. I don't know why, but I love the feeling of cool rain hitting my skin. What I don't like is the feeling of my wet clothes sticking to my body. I'm weird like that.

"My apartment isn't too far from the music store, should we go there?" He suggests. I nod in agreement.

…

"Sorry for the mess." We stand in the doorway of apartment 4-6, his apartment. His jacket is over my head because he didn't want me to get wet. He stands soaked, drenched from head to toe. And by mess, he means sheet music scattered throughout the floor.

"Believe me, my bedroom is much worse. And it doesn't look messy, it just shows your passion."

He smiles at me and walks into the kitchen. I slip my shoes off. "Want anything to drink?" He looks in the fridge. "I've got water and…that's it. I need to go to the store."

"Sure, thanks," He hands me a bottle and I take a sip.

"Um…excuse me while I go change into not rain soaked clothes," he smiles and walks down the hallway. I hear a door close.

I look around the small apartment. I walk into the living room—which is four steps away from the kitchen—and sit on the couch. There are a few pictures on the wall around the TV. One looks like him, Zeke, and Shauna as kids. Another is of him and Amar both holding guitars—this one looks more recent, like maybe a year ago.

One of the pictures is of a very young boy—I'm pretty sure it's Tobias—and a curly haired woman with tan skin. Is that his mother?

"I still miss her," he says. Where'd he come from?! Why didn't I hear him!?

I turn around and face him. He now wears an old gray sweatshirt and holds a blue quilt in his arms. "You have got to stop sneaking up on me." I say, and a smirk creeps onto my face.

He sits next to me on the couch and wraps his arm around me. A bolt of lighting outside lights up the apartment. "Sorry," he pulls the blanket over us. I smile and rest my head on him. "Wanna watch a movie?" he asks, turning the TV on.

"Sure," I say as I pull the covers over my mouth. "What did you have in mind?"

"Have you ever seen 'My Neighbor Totoro'?"

"Yeah! I used to watch it all the time as a kid!"

"I used to too!" He jumps up and inserts the disc into the Blu-Ray player. He grabs another remote and comes back to the couch. He hugs his knees to his chest under the blanket and I rest my head on his shoulder.

We sit, watching the movie, and listening to the booming thunder outside. "Hey, uh, Tris?" He looks at me.

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted to tell you that…I really enjoy spending time with you." He blushes.

I smile. "You're not too bad to be around yourself." I scoot closer to him and look into his eyes. They are a very odd shade of blue. He leans in closer and our faces almost touch. There is way too much space between us.

"Well, as long as you can put up with me…" We stare into each others eyes.

"I think you'll find that _I'm_ the one who needs to be put up with," I lean in a little closer. Still too much space.

He chuckles and moves in closer, placing a hand on my cheek. Too much space. Then, his lips connect with mine, but I don't pull away, I can't pull away.

I wrap my arms around his neck and move as close to him as I can. Why haven't I pulled away yet?

My hands go into his hair as I deepen the kiss, trying to get closer…closer…

We kiss for almost two minutes when I realize that we shouldn't be doing this. I can't be in love with him. I can't.

I pull away and we stare into each others eyes. "I-I'm so sorry, Tris. I shouldn't have-"

I put a finger to his lips as he tries to apologize. "No, it's okay. I just…got a little uncomfortable," I move my finger. He doesn't look at me, and his cheeks are red with blush. "We don't need to tell our friends," I say as we hear a huge roll of thunder. This storm isn't letting up.

"Yeah," he mumbles, without looking my direction.

…

"Tris," Tobias whispers in my ear. I currently lie on his couch with the blanket covering me. I must've fell asleep.

"What time is it?" I croak, and I frown at my own voice.

"Almost two o'clock in the morning," his hair looks tousled, like he just woke up himself. "The storm has calmed down a bit, but it's still raining. It looks like it's flooding outside too."

"Oh."

"If you want, you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"I don't want to make you sleep on the couch, Tobias," I frown. "If there's enough room, we can be together."

"Tris, I've slept on the couch many a nights, I'll be fine."

I frown at him and stare into his eyes, silently disagreeing with him. "I'm not letting you."

He sighs. "If you insist."

"I do insist."

He smirks and lifts me up from the couch, carrying me over his shoulder. I kick and punch at him playfully.

We both lay in his bed, facing each other. "Goodnight," I whisper to him. He just closes his eyes and smiles.

"Night."


	8. Chapter 8

356 days before

I wake up to the sound of a phone vibrating, and with Tobias's arm wrapped around me. He's still fast asleep. _Bzzzz bzzzz…Bzzz bzzz._ Who's phone is that? I turn my head and look around. I didn't pay much attention to Tobias's room last night. I see my phone on the floor. How it got there I will never be able to answer.

 _Bzzz…bzzzzz…_ Christina's trying to call me. She's probably at my apartment wondering why I'm not answering the door, and probably thinks I died or something. I sigh and answer her call.

"What?" I say so quietly that I can barely hear myself. I just don't want to wake Tobias up.

"Why are you talking so quietly and where are you at!?" Christina. I'm going to strangle her.

"Look," I begin. "The storm was really bad last night and I slept with Four…I mean-!" _Horrible choice of words. You're an idiot, Tris._

Tobias stirs a little next to me. I give up being quiet for him since it looks like he's about to wake up anyway. "A storm is not an excuse to sleep with someone, Beatrice. I should tell your brother," Christina chuckles on the other end.

"First off, we just slept. Not like you think at all. Second off, screw you, Christina," I am beginning to get annoyed with her.

Christina laughs loud and obnoxiously. "Okay, I'll let you two keep doing what you're doing. See ya later!" She hangs up before I have the chance to reach through my phone and strangle her. I lay back down.

I look over at Tobias. He looks so peaceful while asleep. I poke him in the ribs. "Hey…" he mumbles. He opens his eyes and looks at me. "Why'd you do that?" I poke him again. He frowns at me.

"Not a morning person, I assume?" I smile at him and he returns the smile.

"I heard your conversation with Christina," he smirks. "So, you have her thinking that we did _that_."

I feel my face get hot. "I can't stand her sometimes," I mumble.

"I understand, Zeke can be the same way. Besides, you didn't tell her about the kiss," he looks away, towards the ceiling.

I feel my face get hot again. "Yeah…that…"

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. But then again, you were the one to suggest we share a bed," he looks back into my eyes, and oddly enough, I feel like pulling him in for another kiss. _No don't think like that, Tris. You've known each other for a week._

I honestly can't say that I'm in love with him, but he makes me feel like I'm someone special, someone worth wasting your time with. None of my other friends make me feel like that…maybe it is love?

"Don't apologize, because I didn't pull away either. Honestly, I kinda enjoyed it," I smirk at him.

He's smirking again. "Then you wouldn't mind if I did this?" Before I can say anything, his lips are on mine and my hands go up to his mess of hair. We don't kiss as long as we did last night, but this time he's the first one to pull away. "Wow, I'm sorry again," he blushes.

"Stop apologizing," I say to him, staring directly into his eyes. "It's okay, really." He smiles and rolls out of bed.

"Shall I make us pancakes?" He suggests.

"You shall."

…

I sit on the bar stool, watching him. "Plain, blueberry, or chocolate chip? Or all three?" he asks. He turns around and looks at me. "What?"

"What?"

"Tris, why are you staring at me like that?"

"Staring at you like what?"

"Your eyes are really distracting…" Tobias blushes.

I smirk. "Then don't look into them."

"But isn't that where your demons hide?"

"You shouldn't get too close, it's dark inside."

"Okay so that _is_ where your demons hide."

"It's where my demons hide," I smile the biggest smile I've smiled in a while. He chuckles and turns back around.

…

After our breakfast of pancakes, we ventured outside to find a clear sky and a mild temperature. "I don't wanna see a cloud at all after the rain we had yesterday," I frown. The water isn't deep—it's not even an inch—so we go to my car.

"To your apartment?" he asks.

"To my apartment. Do you even know where it's at?"

"…no."

"Okay, I shall give you directions."

"Okay."

The rain definitely didn't stop the Chicago traffic, so I just sigh and look out the window. I think about the events of last night. I think about the events of this past week. Meeting Tobias, finding out that my mother has cancer, kissing Tobias. Weeks like these make me dread death even more. I don't want to lose my family, my friends. I don't want to leave these memories behind.

We get to my apartment and Christina is standing in front of my door, her arms crossed in front of her. I want to smack that smirk off of her face.

"Took you two lovebirds long enough to get here."

I roll my eyes at her. "Why are you here, Chris?"

"Because, I can be." Tobias and I exchange a look and both silently agree that our friend is insane.

I turn to Tobias. "See you around?"

"Yeah, call me," he smiles and gives me a hug. He flashes one last smile at me and walks down the hallway. Christina stares at me.

"You two totally did more than sleep," she says.

I roll my eyes at her and unlock my door. "It was just a hug. You act like you haven't hugged a dude before."

"It's more than that!" She follows me inside. "The way you two looked at each other after the hug! If that isn't love then I don't know what is."

I sigh. "I'm not looking for a boyfrient right now, Chris," I say as I pick up dirty paintbrushes from my floor. There are paint stains all over my walls and floor, and I have to try my best to keep them covered. I guess I should be neater when I paint…

"But you two are so perfect for each other!" I glare at her. "Yeah okay whatever I'm just the cliché friend who tries to hook you up with someone, right?"

"Wrong. Chris, you're my best friend and you're totally not one-dimensional," I say as I throw the paintbrushes in the kitchen sink. "So let's not talk about relationships for the day, okay?"

The biggest smile creeps onto her face. "You know exactly what I'm thinking, Bea…"

"Yeah okay let's go shopping, but first let me get cleaned up." She squeals and wraps me into her arms and starts jumping up and down.

…

Christina and I are opposites of each other. She likes pop, I like alternative. She likes to shop, I absolutely hate it. But it's a bit more enjoyable when I'm with my best friend. I've known Christina for as long as I can remember.

When we were kids, Chris and I would spend the night at her house. She had a dog that we would dress up, and I remember we used to tease her little sister. I remember one time when we were about six or seven and Christina turned to me and said, "you're not leaving me, Bea, promise you'll never leave me." I don't want to leave you, Christina.

"Did you just hear what I said, Beatrice?" she snaps her fingers in front of me.

"Call me that again and we will have problems," I move her hand away from my face. "Both hands on the steering wheel, Chris."

"Sorry, you just got super deep in thought—again—and I was trying to tell you something. You're not a great listener," she sighs. "But hey, you've always been that way. Getting lost in your thoughts."

"What were you telling me?" I ask her, genuinely interested.

"I asked you if you wanted to go shopping at the pier," she glances at me. "We haven't been in a while, you know."

"Your dad used to take us here all the time," I smile at the memory. Christina's father died not long after we graduated from high school. Someone broke into their house and stabbed him to death, and I was just as hurt as she was.

She sighs. "I miss him. Death freakin' sucks." She turns right, into the pier, and then into a parking garage. Once she parks, we get out of her car.

"What store do you wanna hit up, first?" she asks, extending her arm out for me to take her hand. I walk past her and smirk. She glares at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing."

…

Each hand holds at least five shopping bags. At least five of _Christina's_ shopping bags. I don't complain though, because even though I didn't buy anything for myself, I still had fun. Christina and I don't get to hang out with each other as much as we used to.

"I had fun, Tris," she says, unlocking the car.

"I am in control of the music this time," I say as I throw her bags into the backseat and hop into the front.

"I'd argue with you, but you have a decent taste in music, my friend."

"My taste of music is your face."

"You're the tear in Four's heart."

I elbow her in the side and roll my eyes. "There is absolutely nothing between us."

She smirks. "You say that now but we both know you don't mean it."

"Whatever," I say as Stressed Out begins to play.

 _Wish we could turn back time_

 _To the good ol' days_

 _When our mom would sing us to sleep_

 _But now we're stressed out_

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again. I was fearless, and I didn't care what would happen in the future. I just focused on the moment. I wish I was still like that Tris.

 **To my 43 followers on this story: THANK YOU! These next few chapters will focus more on Tris' relationships with her friends. I don't think I'll have her and Tobias talk to each other for about two chapters. Reviews are always appreciated. As are favs anf follows.**


	9. Chapter 9

355 days before

I don't know what I'm painting. I don't even know why I bothered wasting my canvas on this. But my hands are covered in paint, and I stare at what I've done. Stars and planets? Why would I paint the universe? I sigh and stand up to wash my hands.

I will get paint on the door knob that I will have to clean up fast or it will dry. I decide to go into my bathroom instead of going to the kitchen to wash my hands.

The warm water feels good as it splashes over my multicolored hands. Why have I been doing this? I keep having to distract myself. I can't stop thinking about _him._ I turn the faucet off and dry my hands. I walk back into my bedroom, and dig my toes into the carpet. Then I fall face first onto my bed.

I didn't get any sleep last night, but oddly enough, I don't feel tired at all.

"I am a mess," I mutter to myself into a pillow. "Letting some boy take over my thoughts like this."

My phone rings, but I don't bother answering it. I don't care who's calling me. I lift my head and look at the mess I stayed up all night painting. Now that I look at it, the painting doesn't seem so bad. White stars and a swirling mess of blue and purple for the sky. Black mixed in to represent the dark void of space.

 _Wow, I'm weird,_ I think to myself. _How could Tobias let himself fall in love with someone like me?_

I stand up and walk back into the bathroom. I stare at the girl looking back at me in the mirror. Her short blond hair sticks up at all angles and there's paint splattered all over her clothes.

I undress and then take a cold shower to wake myself up. Afterwards, I don't bother getting dressed. I just pull a robe—it's only me living here, I could walk around naked if I wanted to—and pick the paint covered clothes off of my bathroom floor.

I walk out of the bathroom and my phone is still ringing. Why are there paint smears all over my screen? Caleb's calling me.

"Bea?" he says. "Are you home?"

"Yeah."

"Okay I'm coming over. You don't have any classes today, right?"

"Nope."

"Okay, I'm coming over and you better be dressed. You sound like you haven't slept all night. Anyway, Mom's being let out of the hospital today. I was thinking we would spend time with her today." I can hear Caleb smiling on the other end.

"I'll be ready," I say. "Love you," I hang up on him and walk into the kitchen. I glance into the sink and see dirty plates and paintbrushes. I stand on my toes and reach for the cabinet. I grab one of my many hand painted mugs and then walk over to the fridge and pull out some milk.

I set both of those on the counter top and walk back to my bedroom and go straight to my cabinet. I check the weather on my phone. It's not getting too hot today so I pull out a black long sleeved t-shirt and a Twenty One Pilots sweatshirt. I get dressed quickly and then walk into my bathroom.

I glare at the blond locks on my head sticking up. I sigh and put a black beanie on my head. I go back into the kitchen and pour the milk into the mug. Then, I stick the mug into the mircowave. There's a knock on my door.

"Wow, you got here fast," I say to my brother as I let him inside. I grab my Converse by the door—the pair Christina doesn't like—and sit on my couch to put them on. The microwave beeps.

"You still do that milk thing?" Caleb asks. "Isn't warm milk used to get people to go to sleep?"

"Well scorching milk gets me to wake up," I say, tying my shoe. "Can you get that for me?"

"Sure. Hey, it smells like paint in here. What'd you do? I wanna see it." He walks over to the microwave and gets my mug for me.

"I dunno, I was kinda like a zombie last night. I didn't realize what I was doing, I wasn't focused." I take a sip from my mug.

"How are you not burning yourself with that?" He looks at me sideways. "Anyway, lets go." I chug the rest of the milk and toss the mug into the sink.

"Alright," I grab my phone and my keys and head out the door after Caleb.

…

"Your taste of music sucks," I say to Caleb as I stuff my earbuds into my ears.

Caleb thinks he can make a band refrence to a band he doesn't like and says, "But I thought your taste of music was my face?"

I frown at him and punch his arm, not playfully. He winces in pain.

"Uncalled for, Bea. So uncalled for." Caleb decides to piss me off even more. "Hey how's that number boy you were hanging out with?"

"Shut up," I mumble.

"Hey, you were the one who was with him two days ago! Don't get mad at me, I was just asking a question." He shrugs.

"He's good, I guess," I sigh. "I haven't seen him since yesterday. I was with Christina all day."

"I think my little sis is in love," he says in a singsong tone, and I want to smack that smile off of his face.

"Oh yeah and how's Cara? You still tryin' to get with her?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "At least he likes me back," I mumble.

"Likes you back? So that means you like him too."

I want to hurt him. He can be so annoying sometimes. "Caleb, I'm not even sure if I love him. Hey half the time I'm not even sure I love you."

He frowns. "Wait, Bea are you serious? I know I can me annoying sometimes but-"

"I was just kidding, brother." I roll my eyes at him and he elbows me playfully. I don't know why, but I've never been able to keep a secret from my brother, and I feel the need to tell him more about what happened between Tobias and I. Besides, we promised not to tell any of our friends, and Caleb is my brother. "Caleb?"

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

"If I tell you this, you have to promise not to get mad at me okay? I'm an adult now."

"I know that, Bea," he smiles at me.

I take a breath. "The other night, I kissed Tobias." Caleb almost wrecks his car, and I regret telling him. "Well, he actually kissed me, but I didn't pull away."

There is about a minute of silence between us until I break it.

"Caleb, I don't often tell you things like this, but I think I'm in love." I feel my face get hot. I haven't told anyone my feelings, not even Christina—and I'm quicker to trust her with my secrets rather than my brother. "That's why I was up all night. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I had to paint to keep him off my mind."

Caleb finally speaks. "You guys barely even know each other," he glances at me. "How long have you known him? A week? And you think you're in love because he's a gentleman and you guys just happen to like the same bands?" His voice rises with each question, and I really regret telling him.

"You promised not to get mad!" I almost shout at Caleb. "Besides, what do you know about love anyway?! You're just as naïve as I am when it comes to this! You can't protect me from everything." I look away from him, out the window.

Caleb sighs. "I'm sorry for getting mad, Bea. I just…even though I'm not that much older than you, I just feel that since I'm your big brother, I need to protect you. But you've proven to me numerous times that you don't need my protection." I look back at him and he smiles at me. "I hope things turn out well for you two."

…

When we get to our parent's apartment, I hear laughter and talking from outside their door. Since it's unlocked, Caleb and I walk in. Mom and Dad are sitting next to each other on their couch, looking at old pictures, but that isn't the first thing I notice.

"M-mom? Your hair," I say, walking to her and stroking her bald head. Tears fill my eyes. I don't want to see my mother like this.

"Beatrice, it's okay. It was falling out anyway so I just shaved it. You'll get used to it," she smiles at me. "You and Caleb both."

Caleb takes a seat next to Dad on the couch and I sit on the armrest next to Mom. "Why are you guys looking at pictures?" Caleb asks.

"Brings back memories of better times," Dad says as he shrugs his shoulders. He picks up one of Caleb and I as kids making cookies. There's chocolate frosting all over our faces and my blond pigtails are disheveled. "You two were about six and seven in this one," Dad sighs, probably wishing he could go back to that day.

"We used that picture for our Christmas card that year," Mom says and then smiles. "Even though this happened mid summer."

I pick up one of Caleb and I on a beach. We look older here. About ten or eleven. Sometimes I wish I could go back then too. I notice Caleb and I's graduation photos. "Bea looks so pretty and mature and Caleb looks like the handsome young man he is," Mom picks up the pictures. "I know this was only two years ago but it seems like ages." She sighs, then stands up.

"I'd give anything to go back in time. Even if I only go back a few weeks…"

 **51 followers and I'm not even at chapter 10 yet? Unbelievable. You guys are awesome! Thank you for tuning in chapter after chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

353 days before

"Tris, I would hang out but I promised my little sister that I would take her to the pier. I know you understand, right?" I sit cross legged on my bed, talking to Christina on the phone. "Anyways, I have to go. See you later."

"Bye," I say quietly. I guess I could go buy more paint since I'm almost out of several colors. Or maybe I could—

My phone rings. "I am bored," Tobias says the second I pick up. "Shauna's stuck babysitting her little brother, Zeke has to work, and Uriah and Marlene have planned to spend the day with each other." He sighs, and I smirk. The feeling of boredom is universal between us.

"Well, I was only planning on getting more paint and then binge watching a bunch of Studio Ghibli films, but we can do something," I suggest.

There is a moment of silence between us. "Come over here and we can think of something," I say to him, wanting to break the silence.

He thinks about this on the other line and says, "Okay. Wait, right now?"

"Yes now!"

…

"I am very bored. Like, it should be illegal to be this bored," I whine, playing with Tobias' hair. We sit on the couch watching some documentary about octopus reproduction on Animal Planet.

"I know exactly how you feel, Tris," he mumbles. "Though octopus reproduction is so _interesting,_ I'd rather we do something else." I find myself blushing at his words and I don't know why. Maybe it's because his sarcasm is so cute…

"Tris what are you thinking about?" Crap! He saw me. I stop playing in his hair and scoot away from him to prevent kissing him again. We haven't even known each other that long and even if we did, I don't think I would be ready for a boyfriend anyway.

I have never been in a relationship. I remember in high school when Christina dated almost every boy in the tenth grade. Every time Chris got a new boyfriend, she would run off and leave Uriah, Marlene, and I. I liked seeing Christina happy, but I sometimes envied her. _I_ wanted to know what it was like to have someone be beyond your friend. _I_ wanted to know what if felt like to kiss someone you think you love but deep down inside, you know it won't last longer than a month.

Tobias smirks at me. "I think you already know this—it's kinda obvious—but I think I might be in love with you." I raise my eyebrows at him.

"No you don't," I say, shaking my head. "You can't love someone you've known for about two weeks."

"Says who?" He raised his eyebrows at me. "The love police? Oh wait, they don't exist." His sarcasm doesn't seem cute anymore.

"I-I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship with you," I say, lowering my voice. "I mean, I think I love you too, but we shouldn't base a relationship on a thought, right? If we ever want to date each other—I don't know why you'd want someone like me in the first place—we should take our time now. I really enjoy hanging out with you and I don't want to mess it up just because we rushed things."

He stares at me for a moment, then smiles. "You're absolutely right. So, we should hold off on kissing?" He blushes. I can't resist him and I hate myself for that. I move closer to him ad peck his lips. It's barely a kiss anyway, but he touches the back of my neck and pulls me in a for a deeper one. _Damn you for having this affect on me, Tobias._

I wrap my arms around his waist in an attempt to be closer to him, but there's a limit to everything, I guess. I feel his hand loosen the already loose bun on my head while the other hand is on my hip. _Stop right now. Pull away before things get out of hand._

When I finally break the kiss, I get lost in the deep blue of his eyes. They're like an ocean, pulling me in to where I can't breathe. Only releasing me when they choose to. Yes, I hate this affect on me. Maybe I hate it because it's a new experience for me, as I've never fallen in love with anyone before.

I sigh and look away. I have to distract myself or I'll end up making some decisions I'll regret. "Let's make brownies," I say, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. I had to get off that couch.

"Awesome," he says hopping up and following me.

…

Thirty minutes later, the brownies are in the oven ans Tobias and I are covered in batter. Halfway through mixing the batter, Tobias wiped a dab of batter on my nose and it went downhill from there.

Tobias notices the dirty paintbrushes in the sink. "You paint?" His face lights up when he asks this question. I nod and he smiles a smile so big that it goes to his eyes. "I wanna see something you've done!"

I blush a little. "I uh, don't really like showing people my paintings." I scratch the back of my head. "I'm not the best…"

"You're still talented," he says, still staring at the paintbrushes. "I can't draw for crap. My talent is music, I guess."

I sigh, take his hand, and lead him into my room. In here are a few paintings, my easel, and paintbrushes scattered all over the paint covered carpet. His eyes dart immediately to the painting of the stars. "When'd you paint that, Tris?"

"I'm not proud of that one."

"Why? It looks amazing. I'd never be able to do that," he crosses his arms.

"I could teach you," I suggest. "And you could teach me an instrument. And we can bond," I take a step closer to him. "We can get to know each other," I take another step closer and wrap my arms around his waist. He leans his so our noses touch. "And maybe something beautiful can happen."

His lips crash into mine as soon as the last word leaves my mouth. _This_ is what it feels like to be in love. I liked him from the moment I met him, but today I realized that I _am_ in love. I don't care if we've known each other for a short period of time. Time doesn't wait on anyone, so why should we? Sometimes one day is all it can take for someone to fall in love.

The beeping of the oven timer is the only thing that gets us to pull away from that kiss. Yes, I am in love with him, if this _is_ love. What defines love anyway? How long you've known someone, your interests? No, I think fate and love go hand in hand. Some people are meant to spend their lives alone. And some people find the person they were meant to be with from the start. Is Tobias the boy I was meant to be with? Am I his girl?

…

After we built a fortress out of blankets and pillows and watched numerous Disney movies for nostalgic purposes, we fell asleep next to each other. His hand around my waist, my arms around his neck and my head in his shoulder. He woke up around midnight and took me to bed before heading back to his apartment. But I found myself not able to sleep.

I grabbed some paints—three different shades of blue—and a canvas. I began to smear the blue paint all over the blank surface. I took a smaller paintbrush and dipped it in black paint and began to sketch the outline of a girl lost in the sea of blue.

I am the girl lost in the sea of blue.

This picture will represent Tobias and I's relationship.

 **I am an awful updater. I'm not even gonna say I got busy, because I didn't (except for Tuesday. I just got braces. They're blue). But whatever, sorry for the shorter chapter.**

 **I was thinking about posting a three part story sometime next week. A Christmas gift from me to my loyal readers (sorry if you don't celebrate Christmas). It will be based off the song Adventure Of A Lifetime by Coldplay and have the same title. I'm off from school for two weeks so that's great.**

 **This will probably be the last One Day chapter of 2015. Man has this year flown by.**

 **In other news, I will be 14 in about 3 months. (B-day March 4th. Hehe. 4.)**

 **Well, I'll update again in January. I'm going to spend this time off to enjoy my family. Hope you enjoy the holidays, no matter what you believe in.**


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